Setting my ever-hindering trip reflection on the back burner, I have a mild rant to release. I have been prompted to write about those people who just should not go on spring break by the heinous amount of unwarranted photos appearing via social media.
You know the kind. The bitch of whom you know just should not be tanning their undeserving skin on that beautiful beach or the asshole who owes you money, can't pay you because they "don't have it," yet goes on an expensive trip. Well I'm calling you out, you unworthy idiots.
1. Baby Sluts. Now, I KNOW break is supposed to be filled with anything but clothing and I'm all for it, but I'm talking about the real baby sluts: the minors under the age of 18. The high school girls who are telling everyone they meet they are 21+ so they will seem more attractive and fun. Your braces aren't fooling anyone. Neither is your nonexistent alcohol tolerance. Little ones- go on alllll the breaks you want- I know I did, but you need to do your thing. Let the big kids do theirs.
2. No Job. Let's be clear- Those who are fortunate enough to have parents to fund their extravagant trip should count their blessings, but I am not talking about those lucky ducks. I'm pointing to those who can't afford to put gas in their car. You all have bills that you can't pay at home, yet you're going on a trip that will cost $3-400 (if you're going the cheapest routes possible.) Get real. If you're old enough to go on a trip without your parents you should be responsible enough to admit you can't afford it when you can't afford it. A huge reason that our economy is in the gutter is because of worthless idiots like you putting everything on credit, then never paying the bill. How about you get a job, pay your bills, and contribute to society instead of living off of every hard-working American's tax dollars.
3. Not a Student. The only exceptions here are: a. if you are a parent chaperon or b. some type of guide for some awesome alternative spring break or c. you actually have a real job, have graduated from a school, and it just so happens that that is when your vaca time is being taken. Spring breaks are based around student schedules for a reason. If you aren't a student but all of your friends are and you're going on their spring break- wake up and realize that you screwed up somewhere along the line and you should probably take a trip back to that point and figure your life out before you take any trip period.
4. Both of the Last Two. If you do not have a job nor do you go to school, what do you do? Oh, nothing? Is sitting on your ass too stressful? Your life must be hard. Clearly you need a break from doing nothing... How about you spend the week filling out applications? Since you don't go to school you could get at leeeast two jobs, right? Honestly. Wtf do you need a break from?
5. Number 4+ Living off of Your Mommy and/or Daddy. Simple and clear. If you do not have a job- not searching for one either, do not go to school- not even trying, and your parents are still funding you- all I can say is "wow." Get it together and have some respect for yourself. Be a productive member of society instead of a leach. I also put shame upon the parents of these degenerates for not having a backbone.
5. Underage/Young Parents. Ohh yes. I said it. Sue me. Also- notice that I say parents. Plural. Both young mother AND young father. Let me get all of these points out before I get some type of death threat sent to my front porch. I understand that parents need a break. Parenting sounds rather tough- exactly why I plan on not doing so for quite a while. (I've got other stuff to do first. Plenty of time for all of that grown up stuff later.) BUT Sorry, hunny. You now have a child. This means that you shouldn't be running off without this new bundle of joy to some exotic beach while your mommy and daddy are left to babysit for the week. This is called responsibility and you chose that responsibility when you decided to have a wee babe. That being said, if you are a responsible young parent and have owned up to this, you are probably taking your cute, little bikini baby to some family-oriented destination with your family, all the while NOT getting trashed or using a fake ID to get into some sweaty, overpopulated bar. OR you forgo all trips together because they are expensive and you clearly have something else that should be more important and much more expensive than a week in an over-priced, one star hotel on an over-crowded beach.
6. Underage Alcohol Photos. People obviously drink underage and if for some reason you, the reader, is shocked by this, well just go back under the rock you came from because, holy hell have you been under there for a long time... This is simple. If you are under age, drinking, taking instagram pics of you and your friends clearly only to be bragging about the natty light you're holding in your hand- you are a complete moron. Not only are you trying too hard only to look even more pathetic than people already thought, but this will also be able to be seen by future job prospects. Have fun working at your minimum wage job after your oh-so-hot-mirror-iphone-mupload comes back to haunt you at the rip old age of 23.
If you are not any of the above, by God get off the computer, go grab a cold one, and head to a fab destination. It's Spring friggin' Break.
No comments:
Post a Comment